How To Stay Calm In An Argument
How To Stay Calm In An Argument – Do you struggle to control your emotions during arguments? We look at the reasons why and how to stay calm the next time you’re in a confrontation.
Christmas may be a season of love and affection, but it can also be a particularly stressful time – especially when dealing with friends and family. While spending time with loved ones (on Zoom or in person) can be the best part of the holiday season, it can also be the source of all the strife.
How To Stay Calm In An Argument
With the rise in coronavirus cases and the Omicron variant overshadowing this year’s festivities and raising tensions, you’ll be at odds over the next two weeks.
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Of course, the best way to handle these situations is to stay calm and talk. But that’s easier said than done, because that’s how our brains work.
In fact, as Sarah Rosenthaler, chartered psychologist and author of Meaningful Conversation: 7 Strategies, explains, “Threats in social situations affect our ability to communicate productively.”
These threats, he says, mimic circuits in the brain when your basic survival needs are threatened, such as when someone abuses or abandons you. It activates your limbic system, which controls our emotional responses and attempts to reduce the threat of a person or situation by reacting or attacking.
Unfortunately, it’s an unconscious reaction, and one that Rosentuller says is all too easy to do because your limbic system is “more sensitive to threats than gifts.” As a result, your ability to react rationally or rationally is inhibited, which may lead to you saying or doing something you regret.
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Our limbic system tries to reduce the perceived threat by “avoiding or retaliating against the person or situation.”
But resistance doesn’t make you better, and identifying the stressors that trigger the fear response is one of them.
According to David Rock of the Neuroleadership Institute, there are five social threats that can lead to stress. It’s about doubting your abilities, feeling out of control, and believing the situation is unfair.
So, Rosentuller explains, “identifying what these trigger points are—threats to our social standing—helps us learn how to manage our ‘fight or flight’ responses.
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This means that by paying attention to the things that set you off, you can observe the situation, see it for what it is, and “remind yourself that there’s no threat to your well-being or safety,” he says. Rosenthaler.
But he understands that’s easier said than done, and that it takes time and practice to regain the right to engage when our “thinking brain” is stolen.
If you’re a little lost about where to start, try taking a short pause when you’re in the middle of a heated conversation. “Taking two deep breaths, counting to ten, or drinking a glass of water creates a ‘choice moment,’ which allows us to consciously choose what to do or say,” Rosenthaler says.
Apply it, and you’ll be on your way to more productive conversations with people you care about instead of boring meetings. As Rosentular says, “No matter how upsetting or hurtful another person’s comments and behavior are, we can learn to control our triggers.” We use cookies to improve this. By using our site, you accept our cookie policy and cookie settings
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This article was written by Claire Heston, LCSW. Claire Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker in Cleveland, Ohio. Clerk earned a bachelor’s degree in social work from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983 with experience in educational counseling and clinical supervision. She has a 2-year post-graduate certificate in family therapy from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland. Supervision, mediation, and trauma recovery and therapy (EMDR).
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Staying calm during an argument is one of the most difficult challenges a person can face. When you’re passionate about something, it’s much easier to keep your cool. You don’t want to speak your mind, and the other person will push your buttons and give you negative feedback. Go into discussions with the right attitude, relax your body, and maintain your composure by using anger and stress management strategies.
This article was written by Claire Heston, LCSW. Claire Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker in Cleveland, Ohio. Clerk, who has experience in educational counseling and clinical supervision, earned a Master of Social Work degree from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She has a 2-year post-graduate certificate in family therapy from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland. Supervision, mediation, and trauma recovery and therapy (EMDR). This article has been viewed 115,215 times. Easier said than done! It takes a lot of self-control, self-respect and maturity to remain calm and composed during an argument. Whether at work or in personal life,
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It is clear that in our modern society, a person who cannot control his speech shows that he has no control over himself and is therefore considered abusive. Human language has the power to make or break relationships. Again, easier said than done. Controlling your anger requires a lot of maturity and patience.
1. No matter how tempting, don’t get into heated arguments. Instead, maintain a calm distance. The power of verbal reasoning is limited. If anger arises, mention the concern as politely as possible and let it go. A reasonable, decent person will respect your point of view. And they’re not, you want nothing to do with them.
2. When the situation is heated, it is better to speak less and maintain a calm but strong demeanor. Being eloquent doesn’t sound like the last word, but instead is unhelpful and difficult. A temporary cold shoulder is better than an abusive argument.
3. Dealing with hostility, rudeness, ineffectiveness or unprofessional behavior can be difficult, but don’t lose yourself or you will regret it later. It takes time to receive kindness; It cannot be made; It cannot have a double image. The way you handle an argument will determine how the other person will react in similar situations in the future. So set rules for your behavior.
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4. Try to be kind. Sometimes, thinking about the plight of others can change things for the better. This way you strengthen your relationship and get the other’s commitment for life. Jealousy is a pretty magical element; It is like a honeycomb.
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