How To Stay Calm In An Argument – Do you struggle to control your emotions during arguments? We look at the reasons why and how to stay calm the next time you’re in a confrontation.
Christmas may be a season of love and affection, but it can also be a particularly stressful time – especially when dealing with friends and family. While spending time with loved ones (on Zoom or in person) can be the best part of the holiday season, it can also be the source of all the strife.
How To Stay Calm In An Argument
With the rise in coronavirus cases and the Omicron variant overshadowing this year’s festivities and raising tensions, you’ll be at odds over the next two weeks.
How To Win Arguments With Stupid, Stubborn People
Of course, the best way to handle these situations is to stay calm and talk. But that’s easier said than done, because that’s how our brains work.
In fact, as Sarah Rosenthaler, chartered psychologist and author of Meaningful Conversation: 7 Strategies, explains, “Threats in social situations affect our ability to communicate productively.”
These threats, he says, mimic circuits in the brain when your basic survival needs are threatened, such as when someone abuses or abandons you. It activates your limbic system, which controls our emotional responses and attempts to reduce the threat of a person or situation by reacting or attacking.
Unfortunately, it’s an unconscious reaction, and one that Rosentuller says is all too easy to do because your limbic system is “more sensitive to threats than gifts.” As a result, your ability to react rationally or rationally is inhibited, which may lead to you saying or doing something you regret.
How To Stay Calm In An Argument At Work
Our limbic system tries to reduce the perceived threat by “avoiding or retaliating against the person or situation.”
But resistance doesn’t make you better, and identifying the stressors that trigger the fear response is one of them.
According to David Rock of the Neuroleadership Institute, there are five social threats that can lead to stress. It’s about doubting your abilities, feeling out of control, and believing the situation is unfair.
So, Rosentuller explains, “identifying what these trigger points are—threats to our social standing—helps us learn how to manage our ‘fight or flight’ responses.
Stay Calm Hi Res Stock Photography And Images
This means that by paying attention to the things that set you off, you can observe the situation, see it for what it is, and “remind yourself that there’s no threat to your well-being or safety,” he says. Rosenthaler.
But he understands that’s easier said than done, and that it takes time and practice to regain the right to engage when our “thinking brain” is stolen.
If you’re a little lost about where to start, try taking a short pause when you’re in the middle of a heated conversation. “Taking two deep breaths, counting to ten, or drinking a glass of water creates a ‘choice moment,’ which allows us to consciously choose what to do or say,” Rosenthaler says.
Apply it, and you’ll be on your way to more productive conversations with people you care about instead of boring meetings. As Rosentular says, “No matter how upsetting or hurtful another person’s comments and behavior are, we can learn to control our triggers.” We use cookies to improve this. By using our site, you accept our cookie policy and cookie settings
Wise Quotes To Stop Arguments
This article was written by Claire Heston, LCSW. Claire Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker in Cleveland, Ohio. Clerk earned a bachelor’s degree in social work from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983 with experience in educational counseling and clinical supervision. She has a 2-year post-graduate certificate in family therapy from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland. Supervision, mediation, and trauma recovery and therapy (EMDR).
This article has 8 links, which can be found at the bottom of the page.
Staying calm during an argument is one of the most difficult challenges a person can face. When you’re passionate about something, it’s much easier to keep your cool. You don’t want to speak your mind, and the other person will push your buttons and give you negative feedback. Go into discussions with the right attitude, relax your body, and maintain your composure by using anger and stress management strategies.
This article was written by Claire Heston, LCSW. Claire Heston is a licensed independent clinical social worker in Cleveland, Ohio. Clerk, who has experience in educational counseling and clinical supervision, earned a Master of Social Work degree from Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She has a 2-year post-graduate certificate in family therapy from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland. Supervision, mediation, and trauma recovery and therapy (EMDR). This article has been viewed 115,215 times. Easier said than done! It takes a lot of self-control, self-respect and maturity to remain calm and composed during an argument. Whether at work or in personal life,
Ways To Stay Calm When Conversations Get Intense
It is clear that in our modern society, a person who cannot control his speech shows that he has no control over himself and is therefore considered abusive. Human language has the power to make or break relationships. Again, easier said than done. Controlling your anger requires a lot of maturity and patience.
1. No matter how tempting, don’t get into heated arguments. Instead, maintain a calm distance. The power of verbal reasoning is limited. If anger arises, mention the concern as politely as possible and let it go. A reasonable, decent person will respect your point of view. And they’re not, you want nothing to do with them.
2. When the situation is heated, it is better to speak less and maintain a calm but strong demeanor. Being eloquent doesn’t sound like the last word, but instead is unhelpful and difficult. A temporary cold shoulder is better than an abusive argument.
3. Dealing with hostility, rudeness, ineffectiveness or unprofessional behavior can be difficult, but don’t lose yourself or you will regret it later. It takes time to receive kindness; It cannot be made; It cannot have a double image. The way you handle an argument will determine how the other person will react in similar situations in the future. So set rules for your behavior.
Win An Argument With Someone Who’s ‘always Right’
4. Try to be kind. Sometimes, thinking about the plight of others can change things for the better. This way you strengthen your relationship and get the other’s commitment for life. Jealousy is a pretty magical element; It is like a honeycomb.
If depression lasts more than two weeks, you should seek help from a mental health professional.
Baiju Ravindran, edtech entrepreneur and one of India’s youngest billionaires, talks about how he is at the forefront of a major transformation of the country’s education ecosystem.
It is known that the most effective way of transmitting values is the oral and written tradition of storytelling. The current market is no different
How To Be A Calmer Parent And Stop Arguing With Your Kids
Executive Chef Sylvena Roe is known for her longtime emphasis on using fresh, organic produce in her dishes.
How to stay calm book, how to stay calm under pressure, how to stay calm and collected, how to stay calm during an argument, how to stay calm and happy, how to stay calm under stress, how to stay calm in a heated argument, how to stay calm, how to stay calm in an interview, how to remain calm in an argument, to stay calm, how to stay calm in an emergency
How To Be Yourself
READ
Author by : Ellen Hendriksen
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2018-03-13
Publisher by : St. Martin's Press
ISBN :
Description : Picking up where Quiet ended, How to Be Yourself is the best book you’ll ever read about how to conquer social anxiety. “This book is also a groundbreaking road map to finally being your true, authentic self.” —Susan Cain, New York Times, USA Today and nationally bestselling author of Quiet Up to 40% of people consider themselves shy. You might say you’re introverted or awkward, or that you're fine around friends but just can't speak up in a meeting or at a party. Maybe you're usually confident but have recently moved or started a new job, only to feel isolated and unsure. If you get nervous in social situations—meeting your partner's friends, public speaking, standing awkwardly in the elevator with your boss—you've probably been told, “Just be yourself!” But that's easier said than done—especially if you're prone to social anxiety. Weaving together cutting-edge science, concrete tips, and the compelling stories of real people who have risen above their social anxiety, Dr. Ellen Hendriksen proposes a groundbreaking idea: you already have everything you need to succeed in any unfamiliar social situation. As someone who lives with social anxiety, Dr. Hendriksen has devoted her career to helping her clients overcome the same obstacles she has. With familiarity, humor, and authority, Dr. Hendriksen takes the reader through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and—at long last—exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, "Everyone will judge you." Using her techniques to develop confidence, think through the buzz of anxiety, and feel comfortable in any situation, you can finally be your true, authentic self....
Never Get Angry Again
READ
Author by : Dr. David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2018-01-09
Publisher by : St. Martin's Press
ISBN :
Description : Never Get Angry Again is New York Times and internationally bestselling author David J. Lieberman's comprehensive, holistic look at the underlying emotional, physical, and spiritual causes of anger, and a practical guide to what the reader can do to gain perspective. David J. Lieberman understands that a change in perspective is all that is needed to help keep from flying off the handle. In Never Get Angry Again, he reveals how to see anger through a comprehensive, holistic lens, illuminates the underlying emotional, spiritual, and physical components of anger, and gives the readers simple, practical tools to snuff out anger before it even occurs. Take a deep breath and count to ten. Meditate. Visualize your happy place. You’ve probably heard all of these anger management techniques and more from friends, family, and experts, but somehow they miss the mark when it comes to coping with the complex emotion of anger. Let’s face it: if anger-management techniques were effective, you wouldn’t be reading this book. These clumsy attempts to maintain calmness are usually futile and sometimes emotionally draining. The fact is, either something bothers us (causing anxiety, frustration, or anger), or it doesn’t. A state of calm is better accomplished by not becoming agitated in the first place. When we fight the urge to blow up or melt down, we fight against our own nature....
Why Are We Yelling
READ
Author by : Buster Benson
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2019-11-19
Publisher by : Penguin
ISBN :
Description : Have you ever walked away from an argument and suddenly thought of all the brilliant things you wish you'd said? Do you avoid certain family members and colleagues because of bitter, festering tension that you can't figure out how to address? Now, finally, there's a solution: a new framework that frees you from the trap of unproductive conflict and pointless arguing forever. If the threat of raised voices, emotional outbursts, and public discord makes you want to hide under the conference room table, you're not alone. Conflict, or the fear of it, can be exhausting. But as this powerful book argues, conflict doesn't have to be unpleasant. In fact, properly channeled, conflict can be the most valuable tool we have at our disposal for deepening relationships, solving problems, and coming up with new ideas. As the mastermind behind some of the highest-performing teams at Amazon, Twitter, and Slack, Buster Benson spent decades facilitating hard conversations in stressful environments. In this book, Buster reveals the psychological underpinnings of awkward, unproductive conflict and the critical habits anyone can learn to avoid it. Armed with a deeper understanding of how arguments, you'll be able to: Remain confident when you're put on the spot Diffuse tense moments with a few strategic questions Facilitate creative solutions even when your team has radically different perspectives Why Are We Yelling will shatter your assumptions about what makes arguments productive. You'll find yourself having fewer repetitive, predictable fights once you're empowered to identify your biases, listen with an open mind, and communicate well....
Conflicted
READ
Author by : Ian Leslie
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2021-02-23
Publisher by : HarperCollins
ISBN :
Description : Drawing on advice from the world’s leading experts on conflict and communication—from relationship scientists to hostage negotiators to diplomats—Ian Leslie, a columnist for the New Statesman, shows us how to transform the heat of conflict, disagreement and argument into the light of insight, creativity and connection, in a book with vital lessons for the home, workplace, and public arena. For most people, conflict triggers a fight or flight response. Disagreeing productively is a hard skill for which neither evolution or society has equipped us. It’s a skill we urgently need to acquire; otherwise, our increasingly vociferous disagreements are destined to tear us apart. Productive disagreement is a way of thinking, perhaps the best one we have. It makes us smarter and more creative, and it can even bring us closer together. It’s critical to the success of any shared enterprise, from a marriage, to a business, to a democracy. Isn’t it time we gave more thought to how to do it well? In an increasingly polarized world, our only chance for coming together and moving forward is to learn from those who have mastered the art and science of disagreement. In this book, we’ll learn from experts who are highly skilled at getting the most out of highly charged encounters: interrogators, cops, divorce mediators, therapists, diplomats, psychologists. These professionals know how to get something valuable – information, insight, ideas—from the toughest, most antagonistic conversations. They are brilliant communicators: masters at shaping the conversation beneath the conversation. They know how to turn the heat of conflict into the light of creativity, connection, and insight. In this much-need book, Ian Leslie explores what happens to us when we argue, why disagreement makes us stressed, and why we get angry. He explains why we urgently need to transform the way we think about conflict and how having better disagreements can make us more successful. By drawing together the lessons he learns from different experts, he proposes a series of clear principles that we can all use to make our most difficult dialogues more productive—and our increasingly acrimonious world a better place....
How To Argue
READ
Author by : Jonathan Herring
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2012-04-23
Publisher by : FT Press
ISBN :
Description : The ability to persuade, influence and convince is a vital skill for success in work and life. However, most of us have little idea how to argue well. Indeed, arguing is still seen by many as something to be avoided at all costs, and mostly it's done poorly, or not at all. Yet it's possibly the most powerful and yet most neglected asset you could have. Discover the art of arguing powerfully, persuasively and positively and you'll have a head start every time you want to: Get your point across effectively Persuade other people to your way of thinking Keep your cool in a heated situation Win people over Get what you want Tackle a difficult person or topic Be convincing and articulate Have great confidence when you speak In How to Argue, leading lawyer Jonathan Herring reveals the secrets and subtleties of making your case and winning hearts and minds. At home or at work, you'll be well equipped to make everything you say have the desired effect, every time....
A House United
READ
Author by : Nicholeen Peck
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2013-08-24
Publisher by : Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
ISBN :
Description : This book shows parents the communication skills they need to teach their children to govern themselves. With the proper family environment and understanding of childhood behaviors homes can become happier....
The New Adolescence
READ
Author by : Christine Carter
Languange Used : en
Release Date : 2020-02-18
Publisher by : BenBella Books
ISBN :
Description : Parents of teenagers need a new playbook—one that addresses the new challenges they face today. Teens are growing up in an entirely new world, and this has huge implications for our parenting. Understandably, many parents are baffled by problems that didn't exist less than a decade ago, like social media and video game obsession, sexting, and vaping. The New Adolescence is a realistic and reassuring handbook for parents. It offers road-tested, science-based solutions for raising happy, healthy, and successful teenagers. Inside, you'll find practical guidance for: • Providing the support and structure teens need (while still giving them the autonomy they seek) • Influencing and motivating teenagers • Helping kids overcome distractions that hinder their learning • Protecting them from anxiety, isolation, and depression • Fostering the real-world, face-to-face social connections they desperately need • Having effective conversations about tough subjects--including sex, drugs, and money A highly acclaimed sociologist and coach at UC Berkeley's Greater Good Science Center and the author of Raising Happiness, Dr. Christine Carter melds research—including the latest findings in neuroscience, sociology, and social psychology—with her own (often hilarious) real-world experiences as the mother of four teenagers....
